Dreams and writing

Okay, so there I was trying my best to make Constant Tower good -- I have a week to finish the first draft-- and I had the sweetest dream in which I saw a billboard that read, "Sow the unusual, reap the plentiful." I was holding a little baby girl in my arms. Lovely, uh? I've been having some lovely dreams, lately. I am so sticking to my sunlight and water and weirdo diet regimen. The dreams are not as lovely as the ones I used to have back in the day but I feel they're heading that way. But to the point at hand: I am totally convinced that Wind Follower was written with a massive help from the holy spirit. I have to get holy spirit's help again. The Constant Tower has the possibility of being great also but again, it's not a story I can write on my own. I need God's creativity again. I need him to set my soul free to play and to be unrestrained again. In Wind Follower it took a lotta bravery to write about certain religious things -- I got slammed for the religious sections by a Christian reviewer who thought I was heavy-handed but God alone knows how much bravery it took to write those scenes.

Well, Constant Tower cries out to be flaky. It wants to be wild. And there's this very careful part of me that knows all the rules of modern novel-writing that is holding back its innate flakiness. So I'm trying to just cut loose.

In short: I want to just get into the narrator's mode, run with the story, and not give a damn. But courage of this kind comes only from God freeing the soul from fear of ridicule, fear of failure, fear of reviewers. And I have only a week to finish the first draft of this thing. The dream made me feel as if God is aware of my struggle and was telling me to go with it and trust my soul to bring this little baby to birth. Will see.

Right now I think I just have to listen. God is to be depended upon. Especially in the writing of stories and the figuring out of plots. The Living God is an author and a Finisher and I will sit and listen to what He tells me to write, and how to write it. I just have to be bold to do what He tells me to do. He has never failed me, I will not fail Him. -C